Oh geez…I wonder if I have made things worse! After I had that guy Justin work on dissolving the attachment at the back of my neck, I was angry and upset about the damn thing being there in the first place! I had worked on one in my root chakra maybe a year ago, and thought I was done with the damn things. Although Justin seemed to think the one in my neck was something put in place when I was young, I’m thinking it’s a more recent thing. I can’t help but wonder if my little trip to the moon brought me to the reptilians’ attention and they have since done this to me. bleah I’ve been having some disquieting dreams in the last little while. 😦 Although to be honest, I’ve been having troubles with the back of my neck for a number of years now.

When I went to sleep last night, I decided to work on clearing that attachment some more. I don’t like it there! So Oya and Chango came to give me a hand. Oya used her machete to cut the tentacles out of my spine and neck and head, and Chango used his fire to disintegrate the whole mess. I then tried to bring in Light from Source to ignite a fireball in my head and heart chakra, bathing my whole body in holy fire.

Then I fell asleep…and awoke at 3:30 am to a raging headache! And my back was really sore too, but nothing like that headache! Ah geez…what have I done???? Is the pain a good thing or a bad thing? Does this mean the damn attachment is dead or dying, or have I done too much and caused myself psychic pain? Maybe the cutting out of the attachment with a machete, albeit etheric, wasn’t a good thing to do? And maybe Chango’s mystical fire shouldn’t be used inside a person either? I know neither of them meant me harm (I don’t think), but it makes me wonder. Are they truly divine beings, or maybe they are of the False Light too? I hate being cynical and suspicious, although it’s par for the course with being a Scorpio, but still… 😦

I woke again at 7:30 am, still with a headache, although not as fierce, and with my eyes unwilling to open due to pain. Over a year and a half ago, I had cut my right eye on a cardboard box flap and suffered a severe corneal abrasion. Two weeks later, when it was 98% better, the damn opthamologist went and gave me laser surgery for floaters. Which didn’t work, and has left me with dry eyes upon awakening, resulting in having troubles opening my eyes first thing in the morning. Well, it’s been getting better, but this morning it was awful! Wow, my eyes hurt, and I couldn’t get them to open easily. I had to throw some water on them, and then the watering of my eyes commenced. bleah. Not just the left eye either.

Then about 8:30, both the watering eyes and the headache had abated somewhat, and I went outside to bring the big blue garbage bin back to the side of the house. Only to find that it was covered in maggots! ick! I am not the main person who uses this bin…in fact, I usually only have a half bag of garbage each week. It’s been horridly hot and humid, and it was a holiday on the 1st so the garbage man was a day late, but still…the girl upstairs must have thrown some meat away earlier in the week. I had noticed that the bin was full on Wednesday (today’s Tuesday and garbage pickup is usually on Monday). I am vegetarian, and I only put the trash out the night before, so it was not my fault there were hundreds of maggots in the blue bin! 😦 Of course, I’m the one who had to clean it…the stink was nauseating, never mind the maggots! I wasn’t putting it away in that condition!

Okay…so why did that happen? The spiritual reason I mean. There has to be a greater significance here, and could it be related to the attachment? I decided to look up the meaning of maggots. I got this from here.

Maggot: Emotion, Transformation and Rebirth

Maggot teaches the ability to greatly multiply prosperity, endeavors and ventures at enormous rates. Maggot aids in demonstrating the power of keen eyesight along with multifaceted vision, expanding awareness in many directions. The lesson of Maggot is in the value of carrying your emotions, thoughts and feelings in order to act quickly in sometimes unfavorable or uncomfortable conditions. Maggot also gives the gift of physical transformation, change and rebirth.

For the hell of it, I looked up flies too, since I have been fighting off fruit flies for a month now! Damn things fly around my computer screen and fly right into my face! This is probably trying to tell me something too, since I don’t know where they are coming from, I have been really good about keeping the kitchen clean, and the litter boxes too. I have salt in the bottom of the garbage and recycle bins (to kill any eggs, which I haven’t found), and I don’t know where else to find them. bleah

“Fly as a shadow aspect also challenges us to review our own self-image. Do you think of yourself as annoying, disgusting, unimportant or worthless? Do you attach negative words to your own view of yourself? Fly tells you to stop this behaviour and replace it with positive reminders of your beauty and inherent worth in order to find your way to health and nourishment.” – © Ravenari 

Okay…this fits. My self-image has been very battered lately. I guess I need to work on that more. sigh Maybe with the damn attachment gone, the negative talk can be banished! And fruit flies in particular are transformation, just like the dragonfly! Hmmm…

Fruit flies are oft seen as just pests or annoyances. But in animal symbolism, this small insect holds many meanings. It is a colorful insect associated with characteristics of survival as well as transformation. – Aunty Flo 

I guess I’m hoping that I will find the bug problem is gone when I get the “bug” out of my neck! Hopefully the bugs have been trying to call my attention to an issue that has been “bugging” me…the negativity that the attachment brought!