In yesterday’s post, I came to the realization that the horrible headache I woke up with yesterday wasn’t really mine. The Supermoon eclipse’s energies had riled me up the night before, making me unable to sleep and feeling restless. Then after only 5 hours of sleep, I awoke with a massive headache that I was able to relieve with my black tourmaline.

I intuitively know that all pain is related to some psychic/spiritual problem, and I couldn’t figure out what could be wrong with me. But thinking on it further, I came to realize that the pain I was experiencing wasn’t actually mine…this from my post above:

I suppose I am experiencing the world’s healing crisis on a personal level too…not just because I am part of the collective, but because I am an empath as well…Like so many sensitive empaths, I/we forget that we often unwittingly take on other people’s pains and emotions to the extent that we experience it as our own.

Well…I just read something that is confirming this notion. In the post Empath Alert – How to Stay Balanced as Earth’s Energies Intensify, the author writes how it seems like the rug keeps getting pulled out from under us, and explains why:

So we know that empaths absorb negative energy from those around them, processing it through their bodies and transmuting it into clean energy, well what’s happening now is the empath role on a global scale.

There are those of us empaths who are connected directly to hives of people that we shift for…. you’ll recognize yourself if you do endless shifting but never seem to make inroads.

Basically every time you shift an energy, it gets filled again by the energies that can’t be processed in the group of people you’re energetically connected to. That’s why it seems like you never make progress.

Ummm yeah…what she said! LOL I know I’ve lamented before about feeling like I’m doing things wrong or something, because I don’t seem to be making progress, and this seems to be an explanation that is resonating with me, especially after the realization I made yesterday. I am very thankful for finding this confirmation that my realization was accurate…don’t you just love synchronicity? 🙂

This idea of being connected to a hive of people that I am helping with shifting their energies kinda clicked for me…I think that is what I am doing here in this little town that I’m not really liking very much. I’ve been wondering for a while now why I ever moved out here, to the middle of nowhere. Yeah okay…I’m doing clean-up for these people that I don’t even know.

What was I thinking when I made up my birthchart?!?!?! sigh Unfortunately, I can easily see myself saying on the Other Side “I can handle it, I want to do this!” bleah Universal Love and all that…I’ll help out this poor group of people. You know, we are so much braver on the Other Side. I think I need to have a serious talk with my Higher Self though…we need to help out poor little me right now, since I am still searching for a new place to live. Please! Help me find a much better, much cheaper place to live!!! Better and cheaper!

Come to Earth they said. You’ll be so useful as an empath! Ascension will be fun, they said.

The Empath Alert article was very encouraging though, and reminded us empaths that we are stronger than most. That although others are going through hard stuff right now (and we’re feeling their pain too!), we empaths at least have learned to cope in ways that the average person doesn’t even know about. Like shielding. And grounding the energies. At least those awakened empaths know these things, and I’ve been shielding and grounding up the wazoo for months now! I just didn’t realize I was doing it for everyone else here too.

However…lately I’ve been feeling less like I have to protect myself. I’m feeling like the white light shield I always surround myself with doesn’t need the ultraviolet or hematite overshield to block the light from being seen. Like I should be radiating even more Light, so that the dark energies shy away from me because it’s just too much for them, and will actually transmute them if they come too close. I’m not sure what that’s about, but I am going with it. I’m still grounding and shielding, but differently now.

I have my bedtime routine with my black tourmaline to protect my Well of Dreams chakra, and say my affirmations that I assert my Free Will and revoke all hooks, attachments, agreements and contracts that do not serve my Highest Self. I use my peacock ore on my crown chakra and use it to align and clear my chakras, and then I use my Dotsero Diamond to help me ground my energies, becoming the rock, and then dropping down into the magma chamber to let Gaia’s fire burn away all negativity. Then I use the white light to put an egg shaped shield around myself while I sleep. But I’m less likely to want to put the hematite or ultraviolet overlay on the white light egg these days.

I am feeling…better I guess…and more full of light, despite some of the anxiety I’m getting from not knowing what will happen when my eviction period ends. I don’t know where I’m moving to yet, and I’m working really hard to keep the faith and not stress about it, having faith that something good will come up in time. Fortunately, the anxiety is softer these days…different than the anxiety and stress I would normally be feeling. I guess I am doing better after all. I am working on positive affirmations about getting a new place, and truly believing that instead of focusing on what can go wrong, I need to focus on what will go right for me now.

But the Empath Alert article was a real boon in affirming that what I’m going through isn’t a sign that I’m doing anything wrong, just that I am working through a lot of stuff that isn’t just mine. I am also reminded of something my Reiki healer friend said when she did a cleansing and chakra balancing session on me…she said that my poor heart was overloaded and she had to do a lot of work on it, and that most of the stuff she had to clear wasn’t even mine!

We’re not just battling our own internal stuff, we’re carrying a huge load for our hives and being knocked sideways by global energies that are pummeling us non stop.

You reach for what you can do. That’s enough.