Just read a post entitled September Energies are Wearing You Out and Leading You to Surrender…wow…this is me for sure! When will I get to sleep through the night again?!?!?! Definitely the energies this month have been excessive, keeping me awake and making me anxious. Today was really bad for the anxiety…I called the Housing Authority this afternoon since they didn’t call me back from Friday, and of course I got a nice little run around to other agencies. bleah And no one was very helpful…what is with these government agencies???? I wound up a shaky, sweaty mess by the time I spoke to the last of the 5 people I was instructed to speak to!

Then I remembered…this is the first day of the “third wave of energy”. Well, something certainly was going on in my mental/emotional/physical system…I had to work really hard to keep the anxiety at bay and re-affirm that things will be alright. I did get some useful information after all from these different places, despite the doom and gloom pronouncements that it can take 2 years to find a geared to income place, and that I can’t actually access any of the homelessness programs until I do actually become homeless. sigh. Of course, my ODSP (Ontario Disability Services Program) caseworker is out of town for awhile, but her temp. replacement was somewhat helpful and promised to send in a note about the Oct 31st eviction date to the Housing Authority.

I have felt rather calm and centered, or at least tried to be, about the whole eviction process, choosing to maintain faith in the Universe that this was happening for a positive reason and that it will all work out. I am still convinced of this, despite the negativity that was coming at me from those civil servants. But riding these “fiery waves” of energy is exhausting!

The September energies are really something! We have to get used to their power, speed, and intensity. They are HOT, baby. And as quickly as they burn they are causing a feeling of being burned out. It is like learning to surf a fiery wave. We have these moments standing on the board thinking: ” Yeah, I am standing, I am surfing, I am navigating – what a bliss!”, just to be thrown off the board by an unexpected current and then diving back into emotional turmoil and overthinking.

Yeah, today I was thrown off the board by an unexpected current…and I’m back into the emotional turmoil and overthinking. I am breathing though…so the anxiety is much quieter and softer than it has been in the past. I got this. I think. I hope. 🙂

Everything is moving much faster and leaves many of us with a feeling of being completely confused and being completely sick and tired of all of this. “I thought I had left all of this behind me a long time ago! Why are you presenting me this sh*t again???” Many of us are annoyed, frustrated, angry and tired. Very tired. Tired of the ascension process and tired physically. Up to a point where we cannot even think one straight thought and all we want to do is sleep. Up to a point where we just say: “You know what, f*ck it. I don’t even care what happens anymore.”

Well, I’m not caring so much about the whole Matrix thing, the whole Illuminati thing, the whole world going to hell in a handbasket thing. I’m really having a hard time reading any of these “alternative news” articles these days…I find myself starting to read them, and then xing out because I just don’t want to read it, or even know about it. Even reading the above article is taxing.

So I skimmed through it for now, but found this little nugget…

September is a fast paced gateway for change and preparing us for zero-point: the point of the evolutionary leap into a new way of existence in 5D consciousness…For that reason, our physical body also is completely rebuilt to a crystalline structure to be able to hold the light in the physical. It needs a lot of energy and building material for it. We experience the weirdest cravings and body symptoms. Long term vegans or raw fooders might feel the need to eat animal protein and in general there can be a heightened craving for sweets and starchy  as well as grounding foods (bread, potatoes, carrots, peanuts…)

Wow…I kinda knew the weird food cravings I’ve been having are because of ascension energy changes, but this really verifies where I’m at. I’m mostly vegan, but lately I’ve had cravings for things like eggs, cheese and last night I even bought some hungarian salami!!! I had such a craving…I used to love the dry salamis. Now, I’ve been vegan/vegetarian for almost 20 years…although I always included fish, since they are not technically animals. They do not have individual souls, so they are in the same category as insects. I morally prefer not to eat sentient beings with individual souls and sense of Self. So I felt really bad as I ate the whole package of dry salami in one sitting. sigh

I have also had a bad craving for sweets lately too…I usually do not have dessert, but the last few months, I find I want something sweet after my dinner. Fortunately, I am satisfied with a bit of dark chocolate, but there have been times when I wanted something different. Something bad for me, like cookies or cake or ice cream. Store bought versions leave a lot to be desired though. bleah. But even my homemade cookies didn’t taste right. I’m actually having a hard time with the cravings thing. Chips and savory things seem my best bet…but they are all so bad for you! sigh. It is hard to know when to give in to these cravings, and when it’s best to try to ignore them in the hopes they’ll go away. I’ve given into the eggs craving though…I think I need the protein, and I try to stick to the organic ones, despite their much higher price.

But all of this is part of the energies wearing us out, wearing us down, so we will surrender and accept the new ways of being.

 The September energies are about letting go of all the attachments, doubts and questions you ever had and trusting that things will work out the way they should. Our little mind cannot imagine anyways how the new world will look like, as its learned templates about relationships, business, health etc. will not fit into these new energy patterns. Thankfully, the September energies are helping us to reach that state of surrender, because they really are wearing us out.

Yes…I am still struggling with trusting that things will work out, but I do understand that this is a test, a necessary step into the new way of manifesting in 5D. I am working hard at maintaining the faith.