I was awake at 3:03 am, and thought I’d do some poverty vow releasing, and came to my blog to find yesterday’s post with an affirmation on it for this. Well…the timing! LOL Guess what I found???? LOL

An article entitled “Thoughts of a Weary Starseed“…wow, just wow! I could have written this! And from the comments, it seems the author and I are not the only ones who are tired and just want this ascension thing to be over. She recognizes that as a starseed, she came here to help humanity with Ascension, but

In a nutshell, I am fucking weary.  I have come to this planet so many times to help awaken humanity.  With each previous life recall I had nothing but struggle.

She goes on to recount her many, difficult lifetimes. Yup…I am aware of 12 past lives, and they were all bad. Anyone who believes they were someone famous is full of shit…99% of us had horrible little lifetimes that were what truly makes the truism “Earth is hell” so valid.

So I feel pretty assuredly and strongly when I say that being human in third dimensional reality is fucking hell compared to the higher dimensional planet’s.

But I keep coming back.  I believe along the way I got trapped in the reincarnation loop, which I believe is simply another extension of the Matrix.

Hey! Someone else who sees through this illusion of reincarnation and how the damn Matrix is keeping us all unconscious, fearful and trapped! More validation! Thank you!!!

Thankfully we the Starseeds began to remember just Who We Are again.  And we returned to this place for just one last show – one last chance – to awaken the masses- only this time, our brother and sister star families, along with the Sun and energies coming from the center of our own Galaxy – are helping us make sure we get it right.  In a nutshell, this is the last time we’re doing this show.  Our final appearance.

I have been saying this for years now…this is my last time here. I will NOT be returning to this planet. I will NOT be reincarnating ever again on Earth. I used to say that if it takes all of eternity to “perfect” myself, then so be it. It’s not like we don’t have the time. LOL It is said (by the False Light???) that we come down here to this negative plane of density in order to “fast-track” our way to perfection, so we can become one with GOD/All-That-IS again. They say that you can learn so much faster, gain major brownie points, by being here and doing it “right”. I’ve been questioning the reincarnation dogma I’ve heard the last 20 years or so lately. I know I’m not the only one.

That being said however, this girl is tired of trying to awaken the masses.  I am fed the fuck up with sharing the truth from my heart only to be dismissed, ignored, abused.  

Man, do I feel this! I am so tired too…even trying to help my family. I can see clearly how my sister has awakened and is ascending, but she still is strangely asleep. She doesn’t even want to hear about the Matrix, about how reincarnation is a trap, doesn’t believe in the archons or the Dark (just had a discussion with her yesterday on this). How can you not believe there is something Dark out there, keeping all of us down, fearful, enslaved to a corrupt system of fiat money owned by the 1%? Come on…seriously folks. sigh Yes, I am sick and tired of trying to share that truth to those who don’t want to wake up.

The author has suffered with mental disorders too…anxiety, panic and agoraphobia. My official diagnosis? Severe chronic depression and panic disorder. My last couple of posts are rife with anxiety! I do believe that the reason so many of us suffer this kind of problem is because we feel not only different, but are actively dismissed, ignored and even abused. It’s a shitty way to live, especially since we came here to help you out to begin with.

However, I don’t know if it’s these energy waves coming in changing me, forcing me to deal with my own shit and purging or if it’s my age – or both – but wow – am I weary of this journey. I am weary of this “awakening the masses” shit I took upon myself.

Oh yes…we are talking soul weary here! And I am so fucking sick of being patient too! This is more in keeping with this definition of weary: Impatient or dissatisfied with something (weary of). It is both a feeling of mental and physical fatigue, as well as this element of being impatient and dissatisfied with how things are.

“Be patient,” we are told – quite often by channelers of higher dimensional beings who have no fucking CLUE what it’s like to live on this planet in these bodies.  Patient?  Really?  When we have been coming to this planet for thousands of years we are being told to be patient?  Talk about false light matrix bullshit.

I want to know where these star families are.  It isn’t enough anymore that I have seen their ships or had dreams and experiences of being with them.  IT  ISN’T  ENOUGH.  Not anymore.  I have read where we must ALL rise together to the new earth.

Why?  Sorry but at this point if you are not awakened – no – if you are UNWILLING to awaken with all of the insanity and chaos and lies and corruption played out every damn day for all to see – then guess what?  You can stay behind.

Yes! I am sick of trying to convince people that Ascension is real, what is really going on in the world with the Matrix and the Illuminati, sick of feeling like I have to excuse my outrage as conspiracy theory rhetoric. Like my sister…if she doesn’t want to believe, then that’s on her and I’m sorry, but I just can’t be sympathetic if she gets left behind. Well…maybe, because I do feel she’s starting to awaken. But her daughter…she is so willfully unbelieving in anything, so selfish in her own pain and angst, and so unwilling to do anything to get out of it. Okay…yeah, I know, I know…you can’t recognize a trait in someone else unless you yourself possess it. Okay…I have been there too. sigh But I like to think, or at least am trying very hard, to change that trait.

Now the comments section is just as fascinating as the article itself. Many people chimed in their own stories and their own feelings that mirror the author’s. Wow…so good to know that I am not the only one here! Because to be honest, it has felt like I was falling down in my duties to help. Like I wasn’t being the loving vibration I came here to embody. I have felt ashamed to not want to do this work any more. And I have noticed that absolute fatigue that I am experiencing these days.

Yeah, it’s probably also the stress of being evicted and being unable to find a new place to live within my means, despite doing all this work to apply for geared to income housing, looking and asking around (and finding!) cheap housing, only to be told there’s a damn list and someone else will get it first. bleah

But this soul weariness is much larger than that stress…it’s the weariness of doing this shit YET AGAIN! I’m so done with this whole suffering to further my soul shit…I’m not buying into it any more! I’ve been doing the damn work of furthering my soul for decades now…nay, lifetimes…and I am ready to ascend. It is past time IMO! And…I am not the only one who feels this way. I was surprised to find that there are others like me out there who are fed up and just want this to be done already!

I was also gladdened to see many younger people commenting on this article too…and that they are feeling the same way. The author is 50, but there were some twenty and thirty somethings who chimed in to commiserate too. One was a young guy who put quotation marks around his name, who very obviously does not identify with his current persona. The author asks an interesting question:

have you ever spent time asking yourself what “name” you wish to be called? like your star name? i say that because how you put your name in quotes and how obviously it doesn’t define you in any way. i’m playing around w/a couple of names – words – that resonate w/me in how i would like to be addressed.

Whoa! That’s interesting! Ummm…can we say Ladosa Jenavi? I had to comment! LOL What a great post…I highly recommend reading it in its entirety, including all the comments!