Woke with an anxiety attack, but it didn’t last long and I was able to calm it with some meditation and my fingering stones I use for anxiety. Was awake for a good part of the night though, and I realized that a part of my anxiety is because of my cats and the flea problem. One of my cats must have a flea allergy, for he is covered in scabs and itches and licks himself almost incessantly. I feel so horrible…helpless and hopeless. I’ve been treating the flea problem with DE (dichotomous earth), but it doesn’t seem to be working. I have found them on my other cats too, and although I know I need to give them flea baths, the thought of fighting with them to do so has made me put it off. I’m back to throwing salt everywhere too, fuck cleaning it all up because I’m moving. I’ll just leave it, since I know no one is moving in yet, so it can continue to kill the blasted things while the place is empty. It takes care of other bugs too, like the damn fruit flies and spiders. bleah

In my MOTN meditation, I realized that some of the angst I’m feeling is coming from my poor kitty with the sores and allergy problem. Which exacerbates my guilt, leaving me feeling helpless to help the poor sweetie. He really is the sweetest of my kitties, and it seems so wrong that he’s suffering like this. Being an empath sucks a lot of the time. 😦 And I feel guilty shielding from my own pets…how else am I supposed to know how they’re feeling? I did feel my hand chakras activate, so I tried to do a healing on him last night. I do think I will have to break down and get some Frontline to use on them though…I will have to wait till my cheque comes in at the end of the month though. Added stress and guilt. sigh

But I called the moving companies the nice lady at the crisis center gave me yesterday, and found one who is willing to use their credit card to secure the UHaul and help with the move. So this has worked out well…I now have a man to help with the heavy lifting! 🙂 And my dear friend K also offered to help me with the $100 deposit…except it would take a few days for PayPal to clear, and it wouldn’t get to me until probably the same day as my cheque. sigh. Damn, I should have done this last week! Ah well…it will work out, I am sure of it. I saw a bunch of 33s last night…1:33, 2:13, 3:33, 4:11…ah, time synchronicities to reassure me! ❤

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