I just wanted to put that out this Xmas morning, not because I am trying to be politically correct, but because I want to be culturally inclusive. Other cultures are celebrating their own religious/spiritual holidays at around the same time as the Christian Christmas. I wish everyone a happy holiday season, whatever the name you give your holiday. 🙂

That being said, I have to say that I am feeling a little down this Christmas morning. It started last night when I looked at my childhood stocking; up till now, it was a pleasant reminder of simpler times. Simpler, and more magical. I will admit that I believed, fervently, in Santa Claus up until I was 12 years old. My reasoning: my parents are really poor, and there is no way that they could afford all those presents on Christmas morning. My logic was there had to be someone else bringing these gifts, because I always remember getting everything I wanted.

Actually, the only thing I remember not receiving that I had wanted was the Barbie airplane, but looking back, I think my parents were right when they said that Santa figured it was too big for us to store. My three sisters and I had plenty of Barbie stuff already…I had the van, one sister had the pool, the other sister had the Jeep and Horse trailer. The sister with the Jeep and horse trailer also had a huge barn that my father had made her for all her Barbie horses (she had 5 of them…she was a real horse lover at the time!) That huge barn held six horses…I had one too (I still have it too! :-D). And these horses were bigger than the ones they make nowadays, so it’s reasonable to assume that Santa wouldn’t bring the airplane too. We lived in a small house, and I mean small: 2 bedrooms with the 4 of us in 2 sets of bunkbeds. I actually readily accepted my parents’ explanation on why Santa didn’t bring it; I like to think I was a very reasonable little girl. I was always much more mature for my age, I guess because I was the eldest.


Anyway, looking at my old childhood stocking brought back those memories of my fervent belief in Santa. When my mother finally told me the truth, I actually cried. People have laughed, but it still makes me want to cry. Not because there’s not a fat man in red who brings me lots of presents, but because this wonderful icon of good cheer and selfless giving doesn’t exist. He was such a wonderful light to me, something magical and selfless and magnanimous, that I was devastated to discover that such a wonderful concept didn’t exist in the world. It really made the world a little darker and colder for me, even at the tender age of 12.

Looking at my old stocking, I realized that I still feel this way. That the world is poorer for not having a Santa Claus in it. Yes, the whole Santa Claus thing is way over-commercialized now, but it wasn’t so bad back when I was a child 40 plus years ago. I still have some old decorations too, and one is of this cute Santa and Mrs. Claus. It is very sweet, and they look cute and cherubic. That is the Santa I miss. And I don’t know how to bring back that Christmas magic. sigh


Now, over the years, I have collected both nativities and stockings. Many of the stockings I have made…there was this gorgeous cross-stitch series that I had done up back in the 1990s. I have like 15 stockings, and they are too many to put out as decorations. I have 5 nativities that I really like, but this year especially, I find myself ambivalent about putting them out. I do not believe in the Christian narrative about Jesus’ birth, so the nativities now make me feel…hypocritical I guess. Yes, I do want to take the religious aspect out of Christmas, and that is why I don’t say Merry Christmas. I have real issues with the Bible and the whole Catholic/Christian Church. Could this be the real crux of my issues with Christmas in the last few years?

I was thinking about my cute little nativities, and have decided that I will still display them because they represent family…and that seems to be the main focus of the Christmas season anyway. Getting together with family and friends to celebrate the season. I got to thinking about the deeper meaning of son of God…son, or sun. I do know that December 25th and Christmas was pre-empted from the pagan Winter Solstice celebrations of December 21st. The Winter Solstice is about celebrating the return of the Sun…hmmm…celebrating the birth of the one god’s son? I do really love the idea of baby Jesus though…I think I will use him as a representation of the Sun, which may very well be what he was cast for!

Ah well…I will be going to visit family later, but I had already planned to watch some old Christmas cartoons from my childhood. I think it is time to do so. 🙂 Happy Holidays to the world! ❤

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