I have written about my icky neighbor before here, and although I had researched the reasons why I shouldn’t feel bad about freezing the woman out, well…I still do. sigh Yes, I have even been mean and rude to her, telling her not to interrupt when I am speaking to my sister (who she considers to be a friend, although she’s not), and refusing to even acknowledge her presence when she invited herself to go grocery shopping with us. Yes, it was rude, but I do not want to give her any indication that I want any kind of interaction with her. She’s a sociopath and you give her a millimeter and she’ll take a kilometer! Since she lives just down the hall, there is no way I want her knocking on my door and trying to take advantage of me like she takes advantage of my sister. My sister has berated me for making this woman cry and hurting her feelings, but the tears were crocodile tears. My sister is not an empath and can’t tell the difference. She is suckered in by this woman; and yet, she doesn’t like her either. My sister sees the antisocial behaviors, and doesn’t want to be around her, but since this woman comes into my sister’s store, she can’t avoid her. She is nice and kind and accommodating to her, and then complains about how she scares off the customers. sigh
Anyway…I do regret being snotty to the woman, but I can feel that she is more surprised that I won’t be suckered in than hurt by my actions. I must admit I have been harsh in my treatment of her, but I am very determined not to let her into my life, and I feel certain the best way is to make sure she knows I don’t like her. I have discovered the karmic ties that are responsible for this intense dislike I have for this person. I thought I discussed it before, but I guess not. It turns out this woman was in 2 previous lifetimes, both of which she did a lot of harm to me.
In the first lifetime, I was living on this little island, and the village chief raped me when I was 13 yrs old. The woman “Tammy” had a crush on the chief and was upset with me for having had sex with her “boyfriend” before her. Ummm…I was raped! She was very delusional and not too bright (still is), and she started whispering behind my back that I “deserved” it for dressing like I did (ummm..it was a tropical island, and I dressed like everyone else. It was not my fault I developed early) and that I was just lying for attention.
When I was first told about this lifetime, I was told by the psychic that I was so traumatized by the rape that I became mute and never spoke again. This was many years ago, and at the time I felt this wasn’t the whole story. Meditating on it, I discovered that the real reason I stopped speaking was because people were whispering behind my back and I got so massively pissed at them all that I refused to speak to them ever again and moved to the other side of the island. Well, it turns out that Tammy was one of the main instigators in this.
Then in another lifetime, I was married to a horrible drunk who beat me and my son, and in my fear for my son’s life, I killed my husband. Well, back then, women were only chattel and not allowed to do things like that (I assure you, I tried to leave him many times but was always brought back). I was stoned to death for my transgression. Guess who was amongst the people who stoned me? Yup. I can still vividly see her hate filled face, her screams of “witch”, and her arm coming up and letting loose stones. bleah
So I now understand my strong negative reaction to this woman. I have resolved to try to be less nasty around her, although I still do not want anything to do with her. I guess I’m not evolved enough yet to be able to totally forgive her and be…friends. *shudder* Nope…I cannot be friends with her, although I am working on the forgiveness aspect. I do send her love and light so she will become a better person, because to be honest, she is not any better than she once was. I have heard other people’s opinion of her, and it isn’t good. The other women who work at the store won’t have anything to do with her either, and tell my sister to not be taken in by her.
Still…I feel less evolved, less loving, less enlightened because I cannot seem to get past this aversion to the woman. I haven’t seen her since I had the revelation about our previous karmic ties, but I have resolved to try to be nicer at least. We will see if I can succeed in that. But still…I got some much needed reassurance that I am okay in not wanting to have anything to do with her. Re-reading my previous post, I see the reasoning there for why an empath should not have a sociopath in their life. I totally agree…she “feels” really yucky to me, and I KNOW she will try to harm me and use me. She has already tried to cause trouble by complaining that I have 3 cats and she’s only allowed 1. sigh
I was reading David Wilcock’s Syncronicity Key book, and found this passage, which I think I really needed to hear.
Statistically speaking, of all the people we meet, the sociopaths will number between 1 and 3% – and possibly many more if we are attracting certain lessons…
Until you truly face your fears and gain enough courage to weed out the villains, users, and manipulators in your life, you will never truly finish your quest. You may be terrified of hurting other people’s feelings, even if they have no problem hurting you. Sometimes the solution can be as simple as realizing that the greatest gift you can give them is to prevent them from manipulating you any further, so they may eventually learn to respect others. Yes, they will very likely take your actions personally and complain about how much you hurt their feelings. This may well be the only way they can learn their lesson. On a higher soul level they may be thanking you greatly. You may be saving them from having to reincarnate, suffer profoundly and play the villain yet again.
Wow…this sounded like it was written just for me! And I had never thought of it in those terms…that refusing to allow her to harm me yet again, I am helping her prevent more bad karma! Now my only challenge is to be able to do it more kindly. 🙂