I have traditionally had a problem with the idea of just releasing stuff and letting go of it. Not that it’s noticeable in my blog. *cough moon cough* LOL 😉 But I just read a really great article called “Allowing – Becoming The Field“. The author makes a wonderful statement, which yes, I had heard before, but which really resonates and “stuck” suddenly for me.
I’ll start by stating it simply: We are not our behaviors, patterns or emotions. We are the field in which they exist.
Yes…a very simple statement of a basic truth that we all tend to forget while we live in this 3D world. Strange how all those behaviors, patterns and emotions really take over and run our lives, muddying the water so we forget the truth of our core being.
So what is the answer?
The ego is just a frequency in my field which likes to claim it is the entire field. It will want to do, do, do and try to take control of the space. Instead, just ALLOW, watch the ego struggle for control. If it needs something processed and surrendered, allow it to move into the space of feeling.
Or, as I have been told to do many times before…release and let go. Let go and just allow the Universe to work out and unfold. I have gotten better at this to be honest…I don’t seem to be as rigid in my thinking and feeling. I still want to research the hell out of topics that interest me, and can even become obsessive in my search for the Truth, but more often than not, I’m left with more questions than answers, and that’s okay. I have to agree with Krishnamurti when he states that ‘I don’t know’ is the space in which knowledge can arise. I have become increasingly more adept at keeping that ‘I don’t know’ space open and waiting for information to come to me to fill it. And synchronicity seems to always happen in these cases. I find something that explains it perfectly, or just another piece to the puzzle. Puzzles are fun. 🙂
Eventually, an insight was given to me: “Get out of the mind set of ‘making’ things happen. Allow things to happen. Create the conditions and allow the universe to do the heavy lifting.” Allowing was the key word. Allowing myself to experience without the need to analyze and go into the patterns that were coming up. I became highly conscious and kept my focus on allowing.
I think I have gotten to the stage where I find I am rather powerless to ‘make’ things happen, and so I am just ‘allowing’ the Universe, Source or whatever to use me to help the world. It has been my experience for a long time now, that every time I try to ‘make’ something happen, it doesn’t work. It has been a very anxiety-provoking experience, but I know that’s ego talking. Praying and meditating always helps to get into the ‘allow’ and ‘let go’ mode. I do KNOW that life will continue on, despite my ego machinations. And it will continue on in better ways than my ego comes up with. The author compares this ego structure to a maze:
As I worked through one issue, it would bring me back to another I had already addressed. And the emotion would be back on that old issue… and this kept on happening. I felt like I was in a maze… and then I realized I actually was in a maze. Some people call it the ‘matrix.’ It was a maze of the ego mind. A constant identification with my patterns. “Why can’t I shift this? Why can’t I seem to heal this?” So I began exploring the maze.
I realized, the maze was safe. With all it’s negative emotions and anxiety, in the little bubble of my maze, my ego felt safe. When I really began to explore it, it felt like a little burrow… a dark, dirty little hole where I could hide from predators. Like I was a mouse, hiding. Outside this little burrow was a tremendous light. The ego self found that light overwhelming and preferred to stay in it’s burrow. I couldn’t break out of this maze… this burrow… no matter what I did. The ego mind could not heal the ego mind.
How insightful! I find a lot of truth in this. The ego mind cannot heal the ego mind, because it is part of an illusory matrix of energy that is not who we really are. Well, let’s face it, it’s a man-made construct that someone named a while back. But the energy that it represents is useful in a 3D sense, in that it helps you deal with physical reality, but ultimately, we all need to remember that it is just a construct to help us cope with 3D, and not who we are. By not giving into its edicts of doing, doing, doing, we can lessen the emotional load by just allowing what will be to be.
I needed to read this, since I am about to embark on a new field of inquiry, and I certainly hope I don’t get all caught up in the “need to know the Truth” loop. But that’s my next post. LOL