I have recently mentioned here that I had been wanting to reconnect to Mother Mary, who was a very warm, comforting presence for me as a child. My mother had a stroke when I was only 7 years old, and her ongoing issues with debilitating migraines afterwards caused me much angst. Mary was always there to lend comfort and support. I have very fond memories of my visions and interactions with Mary from the early part of my life. I was given a lovely pink crystal rosary from my very devout grandmother for my first Communion, and I cherished that rosary until my mid twenties, when I lost it while on vacation. I find I do miss saying the rosary, although it no longer resonates with me, which I discuss here.

Anyway, there is a part of me that misses that innocence and simple faith in Mother Mary from my youth, and I’ve wanted to try to reconnect with her. I’ve been hampered in that by my research into her online, and discovering some stuff about her that may or may not be true. I have read that she is the Archeia of the archangel Raphael, making her his twin flame, when I always thought she was the twin flame of Jesus! I have read that she was also the Goddess Kwan Yin, which opens up a whole other ball of knots about who or what Kwan Yin is! I feel so very confused about Mary now, and looking at an image I have of her, I tried to reconnect.


This image is supposed to be an actual photograph of her from Medjugorje, where she has been appearing almost daily since June 24, 1981! The image was taken by a Wayne Weible, a Protestant (Lutheran) reporter, who shot the image over the heads of the visionaries when they knelt down in prayer before Mary. He did not see anything, but when the film was developed, this was the image that appeared. It is the same Mary that I have seen in my visions of her. I believe it is indeed Mary. So…when I read that this Wayne Weible guy had written a couple of books on Medjugorje, I decided to take it out at the library to read it and hopefully find a way to renew my acquaintance with Mary.

It’s not working out that way, I’m sorry to say! Oh boy, do I have problems with the book and the messages of this Mary! And researching it online, it looks even worse! I do not think it is Mary appearing at Medjugorje. I even wonder if there are any “apparitions” appearing there to be honest. sigh. It doesn’t look good that the visionaries have prospered greatly from their “visions”. And only 3 of the 6 still receive regular visitations. One of them, Ivan Dragicevic, has an $800,000 home in Massachusetts and his sole source of income is from selling tickets to his visitations. Another one, Vicka, can be seen here acting like some kind of movie star, blowing kisses and waving to the crowd. I dunno, there is something wrong with that woman. I know she contracted water on the brain and was in terrible pain, which Mary did not heal. She was told that it was a “special illness that God gave her”, and she accepted it. WTF!?!? God does NOT give people illnesses and make them suffer! There is also a videotape of a man who strikes out at Vicka’s face during one of her supposed trances, when they are all supposedly insensate, where she visibly flinches. She later explains that she was reacting to Mary almost dropping baby Jesus…like that makes sense! 😦 It really looks like these “visionaries” are faking it.

But even more than this idea that they are faking these visitations and making money from it now (boy, has Medjugorje prospered from this!!!), is the idea that perhaps they were legitimate in the beginning. I guess Mary had said that she would appear 6 times, but it’s now been thousands of times! But I have problems with her initial messages too. She talked about conversion, penance and praying to her Son, getting back to God. I really hate how most Christians equate Jesus with God. They are not the same person, FFS! Although…I have my doubts about who or what the God of the Bible really is. bleah. I think the Bible got usurped by the archons and the Illuminati, who rewrote it to mind control the masses. Yet here is this Mary asking the pilgrims, and all of us, to do 5 important things: pray, fast, read the Bible daily, go to Confession and take the Eucharist (communion). By praying she means all 15 decades on the Rosary (not just the customary 5) and fasting means only bread and water on Fridays and Wednesdays. And…the Bible is complete bullshit and both communion and confession are stupid Catholic ideas (yes, I was raised Catholic). Communion is the eating of Jesus’ body and the drinking of his blood…which is part of the Illuminati’s rituals of cannibalism! And confession…the confessing of our “sins”…those acts where we don’t play by the Bible’s “rules”. The Bible is a rule book to keep us all in line, and when we don’t do what they want, it’s a “sin”. Excuse me, but I am NOT a sinner! I do not commit sins against Source, and It would never punish me for anything I did! I cannot believe that Mary would be espousing such things! She would know better, wouldn’t she? If she is in heaven and an ascended master, she would have access to the Akashic Records and know the Truth, and would never steer any of us wrong like this. I think…but maybe I don’t know her at all though. 😦 Or…maybe I’m wrong. bleah

Yet her messages were of the variety “I am asking you to do my Son’s will” and “To dedicate yourself only to Jesus”. She talks about conversion, but in the same breath says all religions are valid. But she’s definitely espousing Christianity here, and specifically Catholicism. This would fit if you had young Catholics pretending to be getting messages from “Gospa” ie. Mary. The messages would be couched in terms they were familiar with. Could it be a problem in translation? I dunno, but the whole issue has me in knots. I wanted to believe so badly, but my internal discernment is up in arms over the content in the book, and the information I am reading on this phenomenon. A little voice in my head whispers “Voice of God”. I’m sure they’ve had that technology since the 1980s at least. The Church says it’s fake, but then I think it’s a case of protesting too much. I think the Church may be covering their asses when the truth comes out that it’s this technology that is actually responsible for the apparitions.

Gee, I really don’t know what to think about the whole Mary at Medjugorje thing! 😦 When I asked her about it, I was met with silence. WTH does that mean???? It’s not that I didn’t connect to Mary, the silence was her not saying anything! I could feel her, but she wouldn’t comment. What am I to make of that?!?! I made sure to put White Light around myself…maybe she couldn’t get in? What if that is true? What does that make her? bleah Is this a lack of faith, or am I over-thinking things since I’m confused about Mary? I do believe in Mary, or at least the soul that I encountered when I was young, and the white light shield was to prevent any False Light from entering. I fully expect Mary to get through though, and I did feel her. She just didn’t have an answer for me. I am left with more questions and more angst about Mother Mary. I need to keep her divorced from religion though…she is a soul like I am, although more advanced. But I find I don’t know how to access her any longer. sigh.